the bittersweet chocolate starfish

i did it. i finally did it. i had my mane of 3 years snipped off. yeeaaap.. for ppl who’ve been seeing me walking around like a female Jap ghost (minus d freaking pale white complexion, red bloodshot eyes n longish elastic tongue LOL)..i’ve gone for a short cut with new colour. well…i’m glad to say i’m happy with d outcome of tis ‘major’ decision i’ve been sleeping on for d whole week. so happy i’m not disappointed n i’m actually luvin’ it! i’m actually not grieving over my lost tresses now! haha seriously.. i was stilll procrastinating for like 10 mins on the spot, wondering whether i should just trim or go for d ‘big bang’ kinda style. good thing d hairdresser guy was real nice n patient to entertain me for all my money’s worth. it’s a rather big dare, if u ask me. i was so anxious about this cos i’m d type of person who’s prone to suffer from S.R.S (Severe Regrets Syndrome). well i did go like.."here goes..4 inches on d floor..ouchz..okay, this is it..sigh..no turning back for at least 1 year til i regain this very same length of my vanity mane.." but after that, i was like " oh..hey..it’s not that bad after all..hmm.." oh hell what could i be losing anyway. for crying out loud..i’m snipping off the worries, misery and madness that has been weighing on my head lately! and my curtain of a hair has not been doing me any favour in making me feel even more doomed and shitty about life.. with the whole crop getting limp and the ends getting split, dry and brittle. so i got really sick of it. i was wishing for something new to happen. umm a new hairstyle didn’t really top my list until recently.. i guess when you have no idea how to go about making yourself feel better about life.. doing something different to d way you used to look helps. it doesnt matter if it doesnt turn out perfect or ‘gorgeous’ as defined by the media or if d people around you have mixed opinions about it looking good. it’s d act of getting something new to replace d old.. it’s about painting yourself with a new colour that your old colour couldn’t accomodate. you’d know you’d at least feel better about having d guts to break yourself and start feeling good all over again..that kinda thing. yeah. well there certainly is some truth to what they often say about getting rid of excessive emotional baggage along with excessively grown hair..especially for gals after painful break-ups. a representation of moving on.. getting over it.. changing for the better. for only reasons known to myself n a ‘privileged’ few..i’m hoping this change and the satisfaction that comes with it will bring greater changes in other areas of my life. whoever’s curious of wat’s d big deal i’m making here.. whoever’s forgiving of my new vanity and whoever’s sweet enough to give me some assurance .. new pics will be up soon ;D

second week of classes and there’s already tonnes of readings to be done. ermmm not that i’d slave over d pages once i get home or during those annoying 3 hours break between classes..probably when i’m seated comfortably at home with my bean bag and The Simpsons for company. then yeaH. these days are so unassuming.. i’d get d blues when it’s sunny and the vibes when it’s rainy. yea, irony prevails in my life. ok, at least i’m learning stuff (or so i think) in class. i’ve got a subject that’s got all that ‘is the world black or white’- ‘what is reality’ - ‘how do we make meaning’ kinda philosophical crap. well so far it’s pretty interesting, i must say, except for d fact that d lecture’s darn long n draggy. oh well, i won’t count on it being interesting once d theoretical reading n assignment part comes up. there’s this other subject that’s ‘oh so literary’ where we gotta study like 6 fictional texts which are freakishly long n boring n incomprehensible. hmm i’m glad i’m starting to like watching C.S.I on astro, thanks to my sis who’s a major fan. i guess i’l need more n more sources of drama n entertainment that’ll help relief my boggled mind these days. my hammies r doing fine. i’m bringing d lil fellas to go see d doc some day in case they have a twisted joint somewhere from their endless and tireless night-time marathon on the exercise wheel..seriously, d fellas stay up at night to run when we humans r asleep, and sleep when we’re up and about in d day. weird huh? no. what’s weird is they are still getting fatter day after day. hmm..i’m missing out on d mega sales going on everywhere! *sulk* can’t reli get anyone to go shop with me and of cos, there’s d budget and time factor. well i actually don’t mind doing solo shopping at all - there’s freedom, mobility and shameless self-indulgence..of cos without d benefits of a companion to provide second opinions, remember where you parked your car, navigate you around when you’re too dizzy from hitting d dressing rooms, have drinks with when you need a break and not to forget, give you an extra hand to carry bags, lol.  oh well sometimes it can be inevitably lonely too when you eye on lovey dovey couples doing their shopping rounds together but often with d poor guy loaded with carry bags or milling around outside MNG outlets while their sweethearts queue up like for the 10th time at the dressing rooms. lol. one thing for sure, shopping or a.k.a ‘retail therapy’ in my world is therapeutic n it really helps you feel good if you get d stuff you want (without burning a hole in ur wallet la). minus of cos d spoiler of heavy guilt feelings that haunt you for spending more than you should. hm..break is almost up n at least i wasted my time away with words and not money..*grin

~i think tis song is real cool. 'Rain' by Breaking Benjamin. fancy a rock-melancholia version of d famous nursery song tat we all sing when we were kids on rainy days and we coudln't get out to play. now we're all big kids with big thoughts n big words to curse rainy days when they cause us massive jams or delayed party plans. Sad, huh? But i love rain. It's that idea of dancing in d rain with your hair down, your worries being washed away, your pain being cleansed.. and you feel so good and alive that you don'tgive a damn about your ruined make-up..~.  

'Rain'  - Breaking Benjamin

Take a photograph, It'll be the last, Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here, 

I don't have a past I just have a chance, Not a family or honest plea remains to say, 

Rain rain go away, Come again another day, All the world is waiting for the sun. 

Is it you I want, Or just the notion Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around 

Safe to say from here, Your getting closer now, We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be 

Rain rain go away, Come again another day, All the world is waiting for the sun. 

first day of classes and i have a sore eye. i think i’m still dazed from the holidays. it felt too short and too quick. could hv been more fun. wish i didn’t took up 2 weeks of it working. oh well no use regretting huh. now i’m back to the reality of university life…hm..wonder if it’l be better tis semester. hope it’s gonna be more fun and interesting. it’s time i get a life cos i’ve been soo dead for d past half year..*wince* oh well. at least things r gonna be easier now tat i’m not doin my crazy job anymore. gotta take more care of my health and cut down on bad food (i.e. choc, kfc, seafood, ice-cream,caffeine..siGh i feel so deprived) cos i’ve been a medical wreck for months. gotta spend more time with my lil hammies cos i’ve not been giving them much affection..guilty guilty. gotta be nicer to people in a lot of ways cos i think d karma crap is for real lol. gotta be more positive in things tat i do and stop procrastinating, fretting n daydreaming. gotta try to handle stuff without going to d deep end. ok, tat’s enuf rambling on d first day. well i have reason to believe tat it’s all good n i will survive beyond my boring days tis semester..

as d infamous forrest gump cliche goes.."life is like a box of chocolates. you never know what you’ll get." apparently i’ve personalized d phrase to become my own. to me, it’s more like "life’s a box of bittersweet-flavoured chocolates. occasionally, you get one in d shape of a starfish." If you’re lucky, you bite into d bitter part first, followed by d sweet part..or vice versa if you aren’t tat lucky. Isnt tat d case with life.. sometimes you get shits and then you have it going good and you think "oh hey, life’s not tat bitter. there’s always d day when things feel sweet." but d very next bite of life you take tastes very much like shit again..so it’s pretty much how lucky you get with each mouth. ok, d starfish thing is personal..but i think starfishes are one of d most pretty creatures on earth (fancy something that takes d exact shape of d stars in d sky! but of cos, it’s a myth tat stars r five-pointed cos they actually aren’t..tho we humans cudn’t help buying into d idea) . hey i’m not d only one in d world with a quirk like this. note: limp bizkit’s early best-selling album was titled ‘chocolate starfish and the hot-dog flavoured water’, and i was told that Coldplay’s original band name was called none other than ‘Starfish’, no kidding ler! see..see.. i’m not tat weird. ok, i am. but to all who’ve heard of this bullshit b4, i think i’l spare them d same speech here *lol* for d rest who hv no idea, i’m sure you got a picture there. pls bear with my idiosyncratic philosophical crap huh.